I sit here tonight with my children sleeping, husband at work, and the furry one of our house snoring at my feet and I cant help but feel a million different emotions run through me. Today we celebrated our babies 1st birthday and I am at a loss for words how this year went so fast! I can say that this was a day of pure joy even in spite of the fact that I was a tad, okay a little more than a tad, sad that he is already one! Thinking back to a year ago this day I remember so clearly and many times today it ran through my mind like a familiar movie. I figure since it is still so clear in my mind there is no better time then now to write it all down and have this to look back on to remember that glorious day!
It was May 11Th, a Monday, that I went to my Dr. appointment and was told that I would be getting induced the following day. I had know that for some time I would likely be induced before my due date, as I had high blood pressure starting around 30 weeks and in my first pregnancy I had also had high blood pressure which progressively got worse and worse which also lead to a induction! The weeks between 30 and 38 were pretty rocky and rough more times than not. I spent a majority of that time driving down to my Dr to be checked out, brief stays in the hospital, eventually daily visits from a home health nurse, and lots, lots, LOTS of laying around! This was definitely a tough pill to swallow considering I had a precious 2 and half year old who depended on her mommy all day long, but I also knew it was what was best for Hoyt and for me and looking back now I had so much one on one and cherished times alone with my princess that I wouldn't have traded those days and weeks for anything! Those weeks had lots of ups and downs, relaxation and stressed moments, but definitely lots of love from many people. I would lay there many days and night and just pray that this little man would stay inside me for as close to 37 weeks as possible and that him and I would continue to be stay healthy and safe and thrive! Going back even a couple of weeks before that I had a big "tough" moment when I checked my blood pressure at a local wal-mart, thinking it would be high but still in an "okay" range for me and about passed out when I saw the screen read 180/110! I immediately called my Dr and was told I needed to head to the ER and they would check me there and send me to labor and delivery. I remember rushing home as fast as we could and having my wonderful mom meet us there to stay with the princess as the boss man took me to the hospital. When we finally arrived at the hospital my BP had come down some but was still high and they were concerned because I had a terrible headache that wasn't going away or getting better with medication. After a few hours of observation and no real improvement it was then decided that I would stay the night and be monitored and see how things looked in the morning. Over the course of that night I was given a few different kinds of medication hoping that one of them would help with the headache and FINALLY they gave me a shot and I wish for the life of me I knew what it was called because let me say it was a LIFESAVER! I was finally able to rest and did just that after kissing my husband good-bye as he works yucky 3rd shift and had to be off to work. I woke up the next day and the medication was wearing off and that darn ole headache was creeping back up and my blood pressure was still borderline so I was crushed when they told me I would probably be there most the day and possibly that night, all I wanted was to be home with my princess and have her with me. Once again cue my wonderful mother as she took care of her all day and brought her to the hospital to see me and let me tell you seeing her beautiful face, Gracyn's and my moms, lifted my spirits immediately! I was given a few more of the oh-my-gosh-I-love-this-shot-can-I-please-have-more shot throughout the day and once again was upset when I was told that my BP was still high and would have to stay. I cried that night a whole bunch thinking that my precious baby was going to have to be delivered early and that scared the life right out of me! I was relieved when the following day they did an ultrasound and told me that little man was 6 lbs 2 oz and would more than likely be completely fine with little to no assistance if he were to be born soon, but to be on the safe side they gave me a shot of betamethasone to help mature the lungs and decided to send me home with another one of those shots for the headaches. Fast forward back to May 11Th- I was so happy laying on the Dr table and hearing that our little man was going to be here tomorrow sometime and that we would finally be able to hold him and have him on the outside where we knew he was safe. That night seemed like a rushed and blurry couple of hours as I was a little less then fully ready for the arrival of our baby, keep in mind I had been on bed rest for the previous six some weeks and thought I had two more weeks to finish washing the clothes, getting the diapers out and ready, bassinet ready and oh a million other things. It makes me smile thinking back to early in the pregnancy my mom would tell me how she was so sad and cried and cried the night before she had me thinking she would never love anyone as much as she loved my older sister and was devastated leaving her the morning she heading to hospital knowing Jamie would no longer be her only baby and I would just laugh thinking that that wouldn't be me! Weellllll let me tell you that night the water works were in full swing as I honestly contemplated keeping Gracyn up til I went to bed and having her sleep with me and just holding her all night long for one last time before there was another little one who needed mommy's attention and love. I let the better side of me win though and knew it wouldn't make for a fun Gracyn, or Granny for that matter, the next day with a tired and cranky girl and put her to bed reminding her how much I loved her and how special she was to me and her daddy! I think I slept about 3 hours that night and had so many thoughts running through my head that I thought I might go crazy from anticipation of the next day. Finally my husband arrived home around 4:00 am to catch a couple hours of sleep before heading to the hospital and it was at that point that I was able to feel relaxed and sleep. Then came 6:15 and the alarm went off, we got ready, grabbed our bags, and made our way to the place we would meet our second born child and the completion of our family!
I had ever intention of writing this in one post, but my little fingers are tired and there is just to much I want to write and remember for one post and I didn't even get to this birthday celebration we had today! ha!
Today is your 1st birthday little Hoyt and I want you to know that you are loved beyond words! You are such a fun free spirited person and I crave that first moment in the morning when our eyes meet and that huge toothy grin spreads across your face. You are so lucky that you have the big sister you do, I've never physically seen so much love on someones face as I do hers when she sees you, her face instantly lights up and there's a sparkle in her eyes! I love how I pick her up from preschool and her first words are always wondering where you are and if we can go see you. You also have a daddy who lives to love you, and does just that so very well! My heart always melts when we stand at the front door waiting for daddy to get home from work and your little eyes first spot him pull up and then he gets out and your instantly bouncing like a little wild thing in my arms with excitement for him, and then your just happy as ever when he takes you into his arms! Thank you for making me a mommy of two and showing me that I truly do have way more love inside of me than I ever knew! You always make me smile and you never fail to make me laugh a hundred times a day, you will never truly know how much happiness you put into my heart and soul and I can't wait til you have kids someday and fill that love as well!
Part II to come tomorrow!
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